


The Right Path

by SgtPepper007



Series: EXO Oneshots [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Psychological, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 01:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtPepper007/pseuds/SgtPepper007
Summary: Yi Fan quit EXO years ago, but he is reminded of his journey as an idol with his former members and he is convinced that he's definitely following the right path.





	The Right Path

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short oneshot I wrote with some of my own thoughts and opinion in mind. I felt like addressing this topic through this piece of work and I hope it can enlighten some of you, or not. 
> 
> This oneshot also wasn't beta-ed. I apologise for the mistakes in it.

In a small apartment in the busy city of Guangzhou, a man was quietly eating a late night snack after returning home from work. While the city was cold and covered in snow at this time of the year, the Chinese man was warming up in his apartment, the heather blasting and his hot favourite noodles calming his freezing body. It was the 25th of February, a date that was usually ordinary and didn’t hold much meaning, but not this year: it was the last day of the winter Olympics. 

The TV was playing, showing the closing ceremony that was taking place at that moment in Pyeongchang. Yifan didn’t step foot in South Korea for years so it felt weird and almost nostalgic. He wasn’t paying much attention to the ceremony. He only let the TV on in order to fill in the silence of his small apartment and to feel less lonely at the same occasion. After all, his job required for him to spend most of his days alone, unless he recorded a drama or a movie.

While he was eating deliciously his bowl of noodles, he glanced at the screen, uninterested. At that moment, different men were doing speeches, something he couldn’t care less about. Apparently, North Korea and South Korea were uniting in some way, or rather improving their tensed relationship by using the Olympics as a mean, which made him laugh a little bit. He wasn’t one to believe all those men with a high status. They knew how to manipulate the truth and how to deceive others: it is a part of their job. He knew these type of people perfectly.

Tired of the speeches, Yi Fan got up from his sitting position and took his now empty bowl in the kitchen to wash it. His apartment was starting to be messy. He was spending most of his days in his studio or practicing for his next movie role, so he didn’t have much time to tidy his small place. When he finished cleaning his plate and his chopsticks, a soft modern yet traditional Korean song was playing on the TV. He didn’t give it much thought and proceeded to tidy the kitchen even just the slightest. However, after a few minutes, the artist’s attention was piqued by the following song. Even if it didn't sound exactly as he knew it, the song was very familiar to Yi Fan; it was the very first song that made his career explode: 'Growl'.

As soon as he heard the first notes, his attention was fully directed to the TV, which was showing eight men he knew too well; eight men with whom he spent years with, who started their music career together and who went through the greatest and the worst experiences. But while they recorded 'Growl' while being a twelve members group, only eight of them were on the screen. 

As Yi Fan was watching their performance, the many memories he shared with them surfaced. He thought about the time when he auditioned with a friend and ended up being chosen, when he was training and met the other three Chinese boys, two of them eventually quitting the group, just like him. He thought about the time they recorded their first performance and their first full concert. He thought about how hard it was to record their first music videos and how long their sessions of photo shoots were. He had great memories with the group, he couldn’t deny it.

Still focused on the TV screen, Yi Fan disposed of his plates and went back to the living room where he had his meal earlier in order to have a better view of the performance. He had to admit it; he was hit by a sudden wave of nostalgy. It wasn't usual for him to feel this kind of emotion since he thought that it was all in the past and that this stage of his life wasn't something he was attached to anymore, but somehow, seeing his former Korean band mates and friends animated old feelings and sensations.

But when their newest song 'Power' started to play in the closing ceremony, other opposite thoughts flowered in Yi Fan’s mind. It was the first time he listened to this song and he didn’t enjoy it at all.

While listening attentively to the song he found himself disliking strongly each second passing by, he wondered how his life would have been if he wouldn't have left his former members. He wondered if they would still have two units, if Zitao and Lu Han would have stayed too. He wondered what kind of person he would have been and what kind of lines he would have gotten to perform. Countless questions flooded his mind and made him reflect on his decision of leaving the group behind, of going back in China and doing everything he has done until now. 

It wasn't the first time those questions crossed his mind. Many different 'what if' scenarios were possible and he would sometimes come up with new predictions and doubts. But no matter how many questions he asked himself or how many possibilities he could think about, he was sure about one thing; he didn’t regret his decision at all. 

The more he observed the Korean members on the screen, the more confident he was about his choices. He truly felt like he coped with his disbandment and that he was at ease with his past. He strongly believed in himself and in his artistic direction. While the fans that followed EXO since their debut were sad and nostalgic, he was happy. Staying in SM and with the group was toxic and restraining his musical freedom as well as his abilities way too much. Not to mention that it also ruined his health. Now, he could do anything that he felt like doing; he could film as many dramas and movies as he wished, he could tour in Asia without any problem, but most importantly; he could write his own music. He could make money with his own ideas and his own skills. He didn’t have to follow anyone’s rules; he was his own boss.

He never felt like he was at home in Seoul. Everything was against his values and beliefs. While working in the USA and in China, he found his own style, his influences and he strived for it. He shaped his identity and his music on his own as well as with his friend's help in the industry. He could be himself and not feel bad about it.

Instead of EXO's Kris, he simply was Kris Wu, the solo artist.

He could be himself. He could do everything he wished for. And while he had the same stage name, the second one felt more real, honest and freeing. It felt right. If he would have to record and promote songs such as 'Power', he would have been miserable. It wasn’t his style, his kind of music. It wasn’t a dance he would like to perform either and he certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed rapping or even singing maybe one or two lines in the song.

In other words, he would still have been like back then; unhappy and regretful. While he didn’t regret being trained in SM Entertainment and meeting the eleven men, he regretted accepting to debut as an artist that wasn’t truthful to the person he was. He learned a lot from it, but it was a mistake as the artist he wanted to be. If the remaining members decided to continue being controlled by a company, to be dictated what to do and how to act, it was their choice. But he chose to leave them and to follow his own path, the right one. He was convinced about it.

Without waiting for the song to finish playing on the TV, Yifan closed it and took his belongings, heading once again for his own music studio. He was exhausted because of his busy schedule, but the sight of his former group on his TV gave him an urge to develop his creativity, to continue following his own dream with every single ounce of energy that he could still use. He was currently working on a new album and a few collaborations with some artists in the USA. He would be flying to the country in a few weeks and he had to finish the preparations. While heading for his studio and at the same time leaving his warm house to brave the cold weather, the Chinese man felt great. He was humming a melody softly, inspiration hitting him. He felt an unexplainable thrill taking possession of him, his body shaking in anticipation. He couldn't wait to arrive at his studio and to create a brand new original song.

He was free. He could follow his own passion and ideas and he couldn’t care less about what others could say about him. He wanted success as a hip hop solo artist and that’s what he got. He was going on the right path.

Reflecting on his past made him realise again that he wasn't wrong the whole time. He took the greatest decision of his life when he left the group. He wouldn’t have done it any other way.


End file.
